Did I ever say an engagement was an elephant, madam?

My hip is really playing up. It must just be a sore muscle but it's unbelievably annoying. It's quite conforting to know I don't have any actual hip problems (it's the exact same pain I had after the other operation, in my other hip, so it'll just be that I'm straining the muscles of the non-operated leg too much) I guess.

Oh, I'm trying twitter as of today, but writing them isn't as fun as reading other people's. To be honest, I need to get a life before I can start tweeting about it. My boring knee-translating LJ posts are bad enough as it is.

Very excited about seeing everyone tomorrow!! Just hope this granny and her hip are able to dance the night away. Or at least the late afternoon.

By this rate I'll have finished this chapter in a week. Time for an evening of relaxation.

Doctah tomorrow! That X-ray better reveal my leg is completely healed or I may lose my nerve.

..which, after a week of bad nights, was more than welcome. Up until now, my dad's been giving me a hand with coming downstairs, my mum installed me with a sandwich and a coffee and they'd be off to work (all of this before 8am). Not this time! I slept really well for a change..

(though I had a rather odd dream that involved me having a bitch-fight with Rita Verdonk. Honestly, I even threw wine in her face. I think it's because she was on telly the other night supporting the pro-cancer pub landlords the other day, who just continue their RIDICULOUS rebellion against the smoking ban. After seeing how well the UK did by just accepting that everyone deserved to reside in any fog-free bar of their choice, I don't see how a bunch of smokey retards from Brabant and Groningen could not possibly control they grubby nicotine-stained fingers for the night and allow non-addicts to enjoy a night out as well. Honestly. Mind you, I feel sort of guilty that that I never had any dreams that involved kicking the shit out of Rita when she was Minister of Immigration. Eigen Longen Eerst?)

..and woke up just before 10. Yay! I manage to make it downstairs on my own, where I'll find nothing resembling breakfast anywhere. Just had to hop to the kitchen on one crutch to fetch some bread and coffee, and now my knee's really painful again. My mum's a dear, but it's either I need help with everything, or I don't need help with anything with her. Sigh. It's more just me feeling the pang of parental dependance once more though. Ah well, the coffee tasted extra good and so did the terrific 600mg ibuprofen I just treated myself to. Back to Italian terrorists in court!

Six pages, despite Nouk and Ria distracting me.

I feel drowsy, hungry and slightly claustrophobic. I need to get out of this room and away from this laptop. Book or telly? Sigh.

I need to get myself some wool, I miss the knitting from last time.

If not, I'll drive everyone over the edge with my crankiness. So, here are the advantages of sitting on my bum for a month once more:

- I have been attempting to diet as usual and it's actually working! Even though I'm at home all day I simply can't hop to the kitchen and come back with my arms full of goodies, so, I thought, while I'm at it, I'd work really hard at eating healthily as much as possible. I highly doubt I'll lose tons of weight sitting on my arse all day, but at least I won't gain any either. Mind you, if I keep up the habit of sandwiches for breakfast and lunch and one serving of supper and cutting out everything in between (Anouk's fruit smoothies and coffee excluded, obviously) until after the op when I start the whole fitness thing again I might manage to lose some serious weight before the summer. I'd love to feel a bit better about myself when I go back to the UK.
- I'm still really enjoying translating. I think this week I'll watch a Dickens or a Blackpool in between my translating every day, if I can still manage five a day. Since I started using Stijn's pirate copy of the VanDale dictionary dvd, translating's been going loads quicker.
- Good company. I've had some lovely afternoons with my mum, chatting about all sorts of things. Also, Nouk's looking after me really well, distracting me with dvd sessions, music ramblings and the prospect of a Maximo Park gig in Utrecht on the 3rd of April, woohoo! Mind you, I'm still very chuffed she's checking out a student flat on Tuesday. I really hope she gets the room! I don't mind being here just with my parents if that means she gets to live in Utrecht for at least half of her student life! I've got people visiting as well, hopefully. Rooz is coming soon, and so is Hsins (for a night of joy and dvds) and Nic said she's coming down to entertain me for an afternoon as well, so that'll be really nice. Only thing is, I'm already very weary of staying inside all day, so hopefully me and my mum can start planning some outings soon. It's my mum's spring holiday in a week, so my dad might take off a day as well and we'll go to an exhibition in a city somewhere. Anything but Gouda shopping centre or Gouda city centre really.
- Getting away with a lot more. Better make sure I won't get too lazy.

Still, the knee's still really sore, and I'm so so sick of sitting here. Ah well. Positivity. Aye.

The hospital rang me yesterday to offer to operate 10 days early. Next Tuesday that is. I hope my physiotherapist will be supportive enough this afternoon, because I said yes. The sooner it's done and dusted, the better. I'll be pretty much back on my feet in time for my birthday now, so woo. So much to do in this last week I can walk around freely though. Having dinner at Rooz's new place in The Hague tonight, meeting Steef at her (relatively) new pad in Utrecht on Friday, dinner and staying at Marieke's after and going out to a party with Hsins in Utrecht on Saturday. And I want to make sure I'll have finished the RAF chapter before Friday. Only three pages to go (before I'll have to revise the whole thing) but Nouk and her holiday mode (and dvd suggestions) keep distracting me!

Woohoo, all is well. I saw the x-rays: he screwed in two MASSIVE screws under my kneecap. As in massive screws that look like the regular kind you can buy in B&Q. It gave me the shivers, slightly anyway. But, as I said, all is well. He got me a bending brace, which I'll be wearing for another month, but in a fortnight I can lose the crutches and be off to the UK! Wooohoo! Better book now.

Encouraged by Freek the fysio man, I took off the plasters. He said they wouln't come off by themselves, and it was probably better to take them off so I was damn impatient and ripped them off (carefully) as soon as he left. He had told me to be careful with the little plasters covering the stitches, and up until the end of the second big plaster I managed to leave those alone. Then, however, I accidentally pulled off of the last of them and my knee started bleeding. Quite badly. Panic. Biig panic.

I was so silly to start pulling at my plasters while home alone: I didn't even have a tissue within reach. I rang my mum who came over and we had a good old panic together. Especially because every wound I have infects really badly, and when I had my knee operation when I was 15, this resulted into an infected operation wound and a rather uglier scar than anticipated. Also because my dad's off on a three day management course and has taken the car. We rang the hospital (the department who kept me overnight) and after reassuring my mum it wouldn't be that bad they told us to come over. Bob (neighbour, Liesbeth's spouse) drove us to the hospital, bless him, and they sorted it out. They pulled all the plasters off as well though, and I was a bit shocked to see how big the incisions were: about 5 cm each. I was slightly hoping it wouldn't be that bad. If it stops the kneecap from dislocating, it should be worth it though.

Blegh. I feel like a pensioner. I want to go to the pub.

Oh, I've got a new phone number. Marieke gave me her old phone (which is really pretty), but it wouldn't have my Telford sim card so I bought a Hi one. I'll facebook it round today if I get the chance.

Right, now I need to focus on looking forward to Sarah's visit on Monday. I'll be chatting away in English for four whole days. I just hope her and the cripple can go out on some adventures without too much difficulty.

My knee hurts, I am still completey dependent and home alone, and the idea for my Sint surprise is not working out AT ALL.

My godfather's in hospital with serious breathing issues.
Freek the physio came round and told me I might still me on crutches for the graduation.
They delivered my wheelchair but forgot about my shower chair.
I've got some friends coming round but I look like shoooite.

Needless to say, even The Doctah let me down today!

On the plus side, I can go to the loo unaccompanied. Score.

Finally. It wasn't all that bad, but I must admit I got quite sick and tired of that place after 24 hours. The operation went well (I think). At least it's not very painful. I spent most of the night waiting for the aenesthetics (sp?) to wear off/the painfest to start, but it never really happen. The feeling in my left leg returned around 9am, and it did get a bit sore, but not massively. All in all it was a bit of a relief, though I did think with every bit of ain and annoyance: hurray, I get to do this AGAIN in three months.

The operation itself wasn't too bad though, and neither was the epidural. I really didn't like being paralysed from the waist down though. It is rather amusing at first, but it gets a tad frustrating and scary after a while. The IV was the worst. They couldn't get it right because of my thick young skin (decided to take that as a compliment), so they punctured my hand and wrist so many times I look like a heroin addict who hasn't really bothered to hide his hobby to the world. Anyway, once they got me all nice and paralysed, I was rolled into the OR, and moved onto the operating table. It was the strangest experience: all of a sudden I saw they had lifted my leg high up in the air, while I was convinced both were still lying on the table. From then onwards I couldn't see much of my legs; they put some sort of screen up, for which I was glad, but I wished they had given me some earplugs as well. I didn't feel that anyone was messing around with my leg, but the noises I heard.. I didn't see any tools but the word 'chisel' definitely sprang to mind, and I most certainly heard drilling and sawing. Blegh. I just pretended they were doing whatever they were doing to the table instead of my leg.

Anyway, I'm home. Just in time for my dad's birthday party. Already had a hazelnootbol and coffee. Heaven. And I can even walk a bit. I think that overall I should be quite happy with how things went. Touch wood.

Bit nervous, not worried. More worried about having to skip breakfast in order to be 'sober'. A dirty word if any.

Today was a bit mad. Went for my last physio session. Went to Utrecht to do my Sint shopping, but discovered my debit card was blocked. Someone has tried to commit fraud with it. Again?! Well no, it's not my credit card this time, but still, how badly do they want to target an unemployed useless bum such as myself? Anyway, it got even worse, because I thought I'd use my mum's card I still had from the family grocerie shopping session this Saturday, and, guess what, blocked AS WELL. Rang my dad straight away and my mum sorted it out: they're being sent a new card in a few days, like me. Nevertheless, it's all a bit odd. Two cards, two accounts, two different banks, two owners.. all they've got in common is that they've been in my purse for the last few days. I'm worried..

Anyway, it's not like I'll need my card in the next couple of days.

Me and the surgeon. This Tuesday, 'checking in' at 11am. I'm so relieved, now I finally know what I'm in for. I might even start thinking about going to the UK early: 28 October plus six weeks is a week before my graduation. I'd be able to squeeze in York at least. Time to start worrying about that epidural..

I HATE my life I HATE it. Another three weeks waiting and possibly even longer. The worst thing is, I'll be walking on crutches for at least a month, and won't be properly mobile for 6 weeks. It's my ceremony on the 18th, so I can just about go to the UK then, but not do any of the other stuff I'd planned. Also, Hamburg at the end of November will be very difficult, and Sarah's visit in mid-November will just be a drag because I can't take her anywhere. Mum's saying I should go to the UK next week or so, but I'm not gonna go and disturb Hsins in her first few weeks in York. I wouldn't have liked it either if someone from home showed up during fresher's week in Manchester or Liverpool. I so wanted to go to Manchester and York in December.. I can hardly stay at Steve's or Matt's if I can't climb a pair of stairs without assistance. Knees, doctors, waiting lists, I hate you all sincerely.

As in the only man-made Dutch provence, risen from the fickle sea. And I didn't even go to Lowlands-land this time. It was very exciting.

- Saw hundreds of wind turbines.
- Went to a place called Schokland, so very funny because it sounds like the Dutch for Scotland, but it's actually a tiny strip of land that used to be an island but had Flevoland 'ingepolderd' around it.
- Went to Urk and bought a pound of fresh eal. Paid for it with my Danish eal skin purse. Had it with chips and mayo when we got home. DELICIOUS.
- Watched a 60s film on the making of Flevoland, evidently during the cinematic era of 'we have discovered the zoom': "Do the new Flevolanders want to live in flats? No! Every flevo labourer wants a door (cam zooms in on door), and a bell (zoom on bell) and a letterbox (zoom on letterbox)." Our reason for coming to Flevoland was my dad's old Society of Dutch Church History having a day of Church History Flevo Fun by the way.
- Went shopping with my mum in the biggest outlet centre in Dutchieland, and bought a lovely Olily bag for 15 euros (it once was 75, oh yes. I've always wanted something Olily.. the posh kids at school always wore it. I just thought the pattern was rather pretty as well though.)
- Bought Control and State of Play for next to nothing from the DVD outlet place. Rubbish Dutch cover but at least I'll have something to watch when knee-ing it up.

It's my mum's autumn holidays this week so I got quite a few more trips planned as well. I've decided I'm ringing the hospital on Monday though. I'm getting so fidgety not knowing!

She was one of five who received 'much distinction' with their BA of history graduation yesterday! I'm so proud of her: she climbed up from the lower levels of secondary education through college and through uni and she's doing amazingly well. The ceremony was so much more personal than mine last year, I'm just very much annoyed with the English professors in hindsight, that they didn't bother making it anything special for us lot. Ah well, I'll get my big party in December! Yesterday was lovely anyway, we went out for a meal and it was all really lovely and familiar.

Hospital still hasn't rung me. Poo.

- my grad ceremony will be on the 18th of December, 2.30pm!
- my parents and Marieke and Stijn can make it, Anouk probably will, and my auntie and cousin still want to come (I do hope I'll be able to get them in without tickets, because I heard most people only get three tickets, whoops..)
- Fitness was great and I feel really healthy today. Again Thursday!
- They're starting on my fillings on Thursday and inplant talk about my dear two fake teeth starts on Wednesday.
- I've opted for an epidural rather than general anaesthetics for my first operation. I need to get over my irrational fear of needles at some point.
- Operation now within the next four weeks. Roll on October..

Honestly, I feel like all I'm doing these days is partaking in a general makeover show. All good I think, but still, bit annoying spending half my week in waiting rooms.

Drinks in Utrecht with the girls tonight yay!

Two operations, one per knee. Three months recovery, per knee.

First one in October. Don't know yet exactly when. I should be relatively mobile during the recovery period so I can give the go-ahead about my December Brit-travels, yay!

Apparently, I was born with slighly out-of-position kneecaps, so what they're going to do is move the ligaments slightly, so my kneecaps will be in the right position and won't be able to pop to the side anymore. I really hope it's going to work. Not a massively serious operation, I only have to stay over in the hospital for one night. I can't wait for it actually. Only annoying thing is that they will phone me a week before the operation and that until then I won't have a clue about when it's going to be. The doctor definitely said October though. I want to start planning trips!

It really feels like it's two years ago. Efteling was lovely, with Roes and Hsins, because they are sort of part of my UK life, but everything else has just been utterly depressing, exactly because it's so familiar and predictable. Also, everything that has anything to do with my future is everything but. I wish I could plan anything, or look forward to things, but seeing as I have no idea what is going to happen, even the next few weeks, that's not really gonna happen. I really hope Wednesday's visit to Dr. Oelp will give me some clarity.

Went to Rotterdam last night with Anouk, Kirsty, Maarten and Maick (aka the Mondegreens), to their gig in a little club called Exit. I won't ever get over the fact how depressing Rotterdam is, especially after 11pm, but I did have a nice time seeing them and a few other local bands. It's almost hilarious how much the Dutch are ignoring the recently enforced smoking ban, but it is ridiculous really. This once more showed me how hard I find it to go back to the Dutch way of not caring about rules or public decency; I spent all night annoyed about it. Anyway, Maarten and Kirsty are still really lovely. I was being a rubbish tag-along, because first I forgot to buy a train ticket and we had to get out at Rotterdam Alexander, and then I managed to dislocate my kneecap briefly in Rotterdam Central, so everyone had to wait 5 minutes until I could walk again. They were all so lovely, but I hate being such a pain: this knee thing is so unpredictable and limiting, I just can't wait to be rid of that!

Plans for this weekend:
- unpack (still haven't done that)
- apply for some translating jobs

Oh, and my lovely mum bought me Converse today. All my shoes are falling apart or making me trip and dislocate, so yay! And I drove all the way to Bergambacht and Goverwelle. I love driving, and may I add, I'm still a decent driver.

Checklist.

- All braced up. CHECK.

- Dissertation on schedule - semi-CHECK. Wanted to have completed a draught version of all three chapters plus intro, and it looks like I'll have one intro and one chapter completed. I've got just over two weeks left, so not too bad considering.

- Flight details and transport for tomorrow. CHECK.

- Packed. Nothing to pack, CHECK.

Everything feels strange at the moment. I want time to go slowly, just as much as I'd like it to go quickly.